ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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