I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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