Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm passing your future prison.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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