I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize