girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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