i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Boobs are out for the taking
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
