do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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