): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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