New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
