Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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