im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
