I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
