wanna go halves on a baby?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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