party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
