wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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