ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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