It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
