I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
