Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
