mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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