Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You are a genius and a whore.
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