Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
