I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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