I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
