i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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