I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
