what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
