Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
