it hurts more in the daytime
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
