call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
