He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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