a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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