I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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