I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
