we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
