I CAN MOONWALK!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
