Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
