So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
