I think i peed on brittanys purse
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
