absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
