Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And the cops told us we were all naked.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
