I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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