I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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