haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize