Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this beer tastes like vomit already
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
