he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize