they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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