Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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