I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
