so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
