it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
