hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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