as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
