Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
