Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
