i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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