If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
