yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
