First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize