They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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