No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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